The life afterwards Peeta and Cato
by HungerHead4978
Summary: The Victors have been awarded their funeral shroud crowns. The Capitol's party dying down, normal life is all that's left. That's what they say. Just because they survived the Games doesn't mean they're out of the inferno that threatens to claim all of Panem. The Brute and the Painter. Till death to you part. A Peeta and Cato story.
1. Chapter 1: The first day

**A flicker of bright lights; the sound of the air being slashed by a sword, panting, grunting, laughing, crying; the seventy-fourth hunger games, the clock ticking down, 60, 59, 58, 57, running, running straight into the towering blonde of district two, Glimmer getting killed horrifically by the tracker-jackers, Marvel getting shot, clove getting crushed by thresh, one by one the careers fell. Our camp thinned out, the cries of the people I had got to know, murdered, murdered by the people who forced us out of our homes and forced us into this world, the world of the Capitol. I dream about his smile, the smile he saved for me and me only. The way his eyes lit up like the dancing flames just like the campfires we made, like a thousand fireflies ignited in the night. His constant worry that his hair had been messed up, his hands always claiming my back pocket, whether he found it comfortable or he just liked feeling my butt was a mystery, but I loved it all the same.**

I woke up to find I was pressed against a half-naked Cato; my face had been tucked away into his toned muscular side, his arms enclosing us in our own little refuge. The comfort of his heat radiating body beckoned me to sleep further, the soft pillow on the grand bed; the warming luxurious blanket that wrapped around us. I was cocooned; the tempting notion just to fall back asleep in his arms was alive and kicking in my mind.

It had just been mere weeks after the games had been over, all of the interviews, parties we had been forced to attend. Not even mentioning the appointments I had at the therapists to talk about my bad dreams. We haven't had any time to ourselves, the nights out had taken its toll and left us completely exhausted, no time to just be us. Cato had been trying to hide it, but he hadn't had sex, and it was bothering him. The nights where Cato had looked at me with hopeful mischievous eyes just to be substituted with a cleverly hidden disappointed smile had been more than just a few. Even with his surprisingly good acting skills Cato couldn't hide his sexual frustrations, or matter-of-factly the stains in his underwear he likes to make when he thinks I'm asleep – the rocking bed wasn't exactly helping me sleep believe it or not. Living with him, eating dinner, joking about, actually knowing that a few weeks ago the man I love was thinking about if I was career worthy and how he should kill me, moreover on the fact I was actually planning to kill him first. The games changed all of us.

We hadn't escaped the Capitol yet, we had won the games, it doesn't mean we get to return to our lives as they were before, if it means anything then I guess we've been long dead since we got reaped. I got cornered by Snow not so long after exiting the arena and finishing the interviews; Snow wanted me to work out more, get my hair styled, put all of these special Capitol face creams to make my skin look healthier. I was one of his pieces now, his pieces needed to look good... or else. If there had been only a single victor this year, if me or Cato had won alone, I've heard rumours what they do with victors, we all know about that Finnick's 'secret', I don't want to think what could have happened if my other half had even been touched by a single one of those - ...

I was afraid, my mind screamed for me to run, it wanted me to hide, to escape. It was a scream that could only be supressed by Cato; I don't think that I was the only one who had the screaming feeling. I sometimes watch him when he thinks I'm not looking, I think he tries to stay strong for me, truth be told, we're both just floating adrift in the storm. We have each other though, we could be on the run, homeless, starving, dehydrated, and he would make everything better for me.

After a while, I unbolted myself from his loving grasp and made my way to the bathroom; it was almost alien to me to be living a normal life after all of the nightmares we've been put through. We were living in the victor's village at District Two, with the history of my mother and the death of Katniss; I couldn't face my home district again.

I have a normal day today, no makeovers by Portia or Capitol parties, I was alone with Cato – I was finally alone with him. I emptied my head of all of the bad thoughts - just like the therapists told me – and I planned to make this day unforgettable for us both.

I could remember Cato's first words after the Victor's interviews, in my outfit which had obviously been made by Portia, I seriously loved that woman, we had wanted some time to at least comprehend that we had survived. "You clean up well twelve ".

That annoying District nickname he gave me, he's lucky he's handsome I thought to myself jokingly. I thought that to myself while I started my shower, I had his voice run around my mind while I did this, every word, every little way he said things, during the games just the way I feel about Cato had been enough to convince me I was crazy.

Pulling off my bedtime clothes that Cato hated so much, he hated not being able to see me naked I guessed. I hopped into the shower letting the warm currents wash over me, for a moment I like to think that everything's normal. It doesn't last long. I close my eyes, and just for a second I could see a flash of red, gingery ember hair. Foxface.

I'm a murderer. I could still see her lifeless eyes, staring at me, screaming at me for what I had done. I was only washing by the river - I found the berries, and I had left them by my clothing, it wasn't my fault it was nightlock.

I opened my eyes to find my hands clutching at my hair, the nightmare had finished. With that I wanted to forget all of the games, I let the water flood onto me and erode all of the bad memories away. I even used some of the Gels the shops provided which I had to use for my hair and body, they made me smell great according to Cato, and I even used his favourite scents.

I turned off the shower, stepped out and wrapped a towel around my waist. I wondered about whether I would ever be contempt with living a normal life, sitting around the house, cooking dinner but then I just remember, whatever I'd be doing , I'd be doing it with Cato – that allowed a smile to sneak on my face.

I looked into the mirror, and let Capital Peeta stare back at me, " Smile, one of you two have to stay positive, the more you smile, the more you resist Peeta. You're not a pawn on their chessboard"

(-)

Early morning cooking, a fiery passion; it was like an old friend, I hadn't cooked in a while, but I missed it. I was in the kitchen, eggs frying in the pan along with the bacon, toast cooking, and I had the table prepared. Not even the president himself could stop me at the moment.

I felt like I was in my home-ground, the place I thrive, I soar, the Sky to my mockingjay. I started to boil the kettle and then I sat down on our dining room table, located right next to the kitchen. I couldn't stop the smile on my face, moments like this was a life-saver.

I was going through what I wanted to do today, it was Cato's sister's birthday tomorrow, from the little I've seen of them his family were caring, friendly, loving... to Cato. He was lucky when it came to family, luckier than others. Everyone sees the district and they link them with Careers, in actual truth, they were a well-built community, as strong as the buildings they construct.

I didn't have time to stray away from topic, I got a plate out, placed the toast, eggs and bacon on them. "Like a professional Baker "I joked to myself, even with simple things like eggs and bacon, cooking made my day. I made Cato's cup of coffee, he liked two sugars, "Figures" I chuckled to myself, bringing honour to his district, district pride. Was I making jokes about his interviews now?

"Peeta? Peeta?" A strained voice echoed from up the stairs, I guess Cato just woke up.

I rushed up the stairs as fast as I could balancing the breakfast and cup of coffee as I went. I was met by a very bed-headed Cato popping his head out of the door way he had put on one of my shirts because it was ridiculously too tight for him. I could see the look on his face, did he have another nightmare? Anyways it must have been serious if he didn't even fix his hair.

"Peeta, what where were you? I woke up and you were gone, I freaked out" He must have had another nightmare, he refuses to talk about them, or even acknowledge them. He insists he doesn't have any, but I know.

"Hey, come on now. Just sit back down. "

"But I just wanna – "

"Sit" I declared with a big smile on my lips. He entered the bedroom with a cute little pout on his face, I could hear the rustling of the covers where he had wrapped himself back up, I wanted everything to be perfect, Breakfast in bed, everything. I walked in slowly, revealing the breakfast; you should have seen the smile on his face.

"Peeta, you made breakfast?" he laughed, he looked like a child in a candy shop. I set it up next to him leaving the coffee on the bedside table. He immediately leaned over it all and sneaked a kiss, okay two kisses, no three kisses. His kisses began to trail down my neck before he hovered his lips against my ear.

"How about you not eat me when I just made breakfast?" I uttered uncomfortably.

"You're the cook my l spicy JabberJay." He grumbled

"You don't need to tell me twice" I whispered back planting a final kiss on his cheek. "Now, eat your toast" I snickered, shoving a piece of toast in his open mouth before he could complain.

He placed the eggs and the bacon on a slice of toast, put another slice on top to create a sandwich, and he cut it in half with the knife I had provided.

"Only if you eat with me" He stated, he wasn't asking, he insisted in a loving way.

I took the half and I sat next to him, feeling the heat radiating from his body. He squashed himself against me, getting as much of me as he could in his arms.

"I can't even question how you made this so delicious Peeta, you have a gift." Cato mumbled between monstrous bites of his breakfast. Also, if you ever try to shove toast in my mouth again, I take that as a sign I get permission to shove something down your throat" Cato said casually.

I choked on my sandwich, "Cato!"

He laughed like a child before gobbling up the last bit of his breakfast. I couldn't seem to stop the scarlet blush on my face. I swallowed the last bit of my sandwich, Cato had drunken his coffee and we presumed our cuddle, his head on top of mine and his legs wrapped around my body.

"We're alone Peeta, no disturbances."

"What do you mean?"

"This."

He was on top of me before I could even manage to reply, his arms locking mine above my head, his muscular brawny legs pinned either side of my waist. I could only watch with wordless breaths as my mind shut down with pure horror, I mean, ugh... I don't even know.

"Would be worth anything if I say we have to let our breakfast go down?" I choked out.

"Nope". He let out before sinking his face towards mine.

"But we could start to feel sick or something."

"I am not stopping." His face dipped to my neck to divert his assault to distract me from trying to get out from his hold.

"I'm on my period?" I stuttered

He stopped his onslaught to give me a strong look of derision. "Seriously Peeta?" he pouted as he moved his lips to my ear. "You mean, you're not excited even one bit about what it feels like? Or it doesn't get you even slightly hot to think about what I could do Peeta? I've got something for you Peeta, I know you want it. "

"I, urmm." I mumbled.

His hands let go of keeping mine captive, and then he slowly began to take of his shirt. Once the shirt had been pulled off he discarded it behind him. He raised his arms behind his head; he flexing his pecs, stretching his chest. The sight of his muscled, burly tanned arms takes me by surprise. My mind freezes in pure pleasure; I couldn't help but stare at him, or stop the blood rushing to my pants. He leaned forward once more raising his arms above me. One of his arms dropped down and stroked my chin.

"You still not hot under the collar?"

"Cato, my god" I managed to squeeze out as pressed my lips against his, desperate for the friction. I felt a burning sensation, like a fire had just engulfed us. It felt like almost a tingling as I closed my eyes and continued the kiss.

As I pulled away from him, I opened my eyes to find him staring directly into them. My mouth had gone dry and as I tried to swallow. _SHIT, _I just practically bombarded his mouth, what if he didn't like that? "Cato – I"

"Shut up" He outpoured. His lips hot fire against mine; we were unable to contain our moans. I was unable to restrain my hands as I placed them on his back, pushing him forward towards me.

It was frenzy as my shirt was ripped of me, their warmth replaced by Cato's torso pressed tight against mine. He had moved his hands on my nipples, his hands moved down on my body like it was moving in treacle, he was making me wait. He reached the beginnings of my underwear, his hands entered slowly, but he didn't touch 'anything'. His hands drifted just above my manhood "You're mine" Cato mumbled into my ear, his lips slowly licking my lobe, and he bit down playfully. "You're going to enjoy this, trust me".


	2. Chapter 2: PTSD

**"PEETA PEETA PEETA?"**

I didn't mean to hurt them, they're dead, it's not my fault, not my fault, not my fault, Katniss, I didn't mean to, Please Katniss I'm sorry, the screams, make the scream stop, please make them stop. That's when I started to see black; the screams erupted from around me. The capitol had caused this. Why am I so cold, it's so dark, where am I please... Please help me I'm afraid. - The dead were screaming my name, the blood curdling screams were booming in my ears, I can't move, LET ME GO. Then without a warning the screaming stopped, the pain stopped, Katniss stopped, and I... stopped too.

My head hazed back and forth into consciousness, the melancholy gloomy walls spinning around, and around, and around and around. When I awoke I just continued to stare at the door, it was an inch open. The temptation to just get out of the bed to see what's outside was gnawing at my mind, I had tried countless times to only be betrayed by my head, the wooziness and haziness claimed me just as I had managed to push myself up. I couldn't get up if I tried. I just continued to stare around the room. It had no windows; the room was dark, the only light was coming from the door at the other side of the room. All that was keeping me away was the little crack emitting light.

I could hear arguing outside the room, hushed voices, trying not to wake someone; I think they were talking about me. I caught words every now and then; I chose not to listen them, and to forget. The darkness clouded around the edges of my vision, dark tendrils spiralling before my eyes and then... peace.

Awake once more, it seems I'm being refused sleep by myself, my stomach aches like I haven't eaten in a while, It couldn't be though, I had just eaten with Cato, I had cooked breakfast hours previous. The voices outside had long since stopped, I was left alone in the silence.

Foxface... Nightlock... Katniss. There was so much blood, she had made me do it, she made me do it. She made me do it. She made me do it. It isn't my fault, it isn't my fault. Screaming, stop screaming. Stop screaming you're going to wake everyone up. Stop screaming, it wasn't your fault.

I begged the darkness to come and make the agony go away, to numb the pain. I wasn't calmed by the darkness around my eyes, but the opening of the door. My eyes were instantly blinded from the light, and as soon as the darkness had been pushed away from me, the warm sensation of liquid pouring through my body released me. How many times did I have to go through this before I could even manage to sit myself up? How many times before I could even see my Cato? Cato...

I counted myself lucky as the aching awareness of being awake came to me, I felt just plain useless as the exact same feeling carried through me. The room however had stopped. The sickening spin had halted, was this my chance? I put my hands on either edge of the bed, gripping the sheets. The throbbing that came with the movement hadn't accompanied me. I had taken my chance, I pushed with the little strength I had, and I managed to force myself up-right.

The haziness tried to fog my mind once more, but I wouldn't let it, the adrenaline pumping through my veins from just simply sitting up and all but been enough to fuel getting out of the room. I slowly twisted my body, letting my legs dangle off the edge of the bed.

Once they had been placed on the floor, the chill sensation shot up my leg, it was then I noticed the thin hospital gown I was wearing. Reality came crashing down on me, how stupid was I to not even see what was happening. I was too busy focusing on trying to stay conscience to even understand that I hadn't physically placed myself in this dark god-forsaken room. Something had gone wrong, had I gone wrong? Was I broken? I wasn't broken, I couldn't be broken. Cato. We were meant to be having the time of our lives. Romantic dinners, cheesy cuddling sessions, we were meant to be starting again and what had I done? Ruined it.

I was in the hospital, not out while Cato fussed about his outfit; we weren't being completely lazy cuddling in bed. I was alone, cold, and I needed to find him.

Once I was sure that I could walk properly I leant on my bed and stood up. I wobbled precariously but I managed to stay up-right. I took a step without the support of my bed, all was fine... The door was within a couple steps distance; I slowly made my way there, ignoring the fuzziness of my brain. I placed my hands on the door-knob and with a breath, let the light of the hospital flood into the little room, and by doing so, blinding me.

It took me a little while for my eyes to adjust to my surroundings. This was District Two's hospital alright; the hallway screamed with silence, and I was learning to really quickly hate it. I was in a long hallway, rooms were littered along each side, each room most likely housing a broken man or women. The was floor overly polished, like the cleaners had declared war on every single surface that had existed. The resemblance to the Capitol's pristine style was frightening; I didn't think any more of it. For my sake, I didn't plan on being a broken little boy for any longer, for Cato – wherever he was. I wasn't going to lie when I was a slight bit disappointed when Cato hadn't been my bedside. Jesus Cato where the fuck are you? Crap hospitals creeped me the hell out.

I looked either way of the corridor, both ending in double doors. I turned left facing my decision and started to rush as fast as I could, I was determined to see my Cato. I hadn't even made it the whole way before a doctor had casually stumbled through the right sided double doors. I turned to see her, her eyes meeting mine, she didn't even look surprised that I was awake, she just continued to look at me as she made her way too me.

"Peeta Mellark, I assume?"

"Wha –"

"Nice to know, I'll be your Doctor, How are you feeling? " She stated, as though she was reading a passage of a manual she had memorised.

"Where's Cato, What's happened, and why was –"

"Perhaps we should talk about this in your room Mr Mellark?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm not going back to that room! Do you guys ever turn on the freaking lights in there? I've been trying to get out for ages to see someone and there's been no one the-"

"That's because you've been unconscious for most of your stay, we had our eye on you anyways Mr Mellark, now calm down, we have other patients here that are trying to sleep. "

I could feel the rage boil up inside me, the feeling that I just wanted to make that woman listen to me, I guess I'm not as different as I had thought from Cato.

"Let me explain doctor, I –"

"Mr Mellark I must insist that—"

"No listen, I've had enough. What's going to happen is that I'm going to put on some real clothes, and I'm going to see my Cato. Now."

"Mr Mellark if you don't accompany me for some tests, we'll have someone come to restrain you, your choice."

I could feel my fists clench tight, my knuckles turning white at how firm I had been struggling to hold back my fists from making connections with her face. Memories scattered across my mind had been suddenly brought back through her words.

President Snow, threatening me, warning me. I hadn't even had a chance to stop from the games. I now know that it's never going to stop, it may look different, but it's still there. I held my funeral at District Twelve, the reaping. They shouldn't even pretend that you can win; at least some of the starving people could have some food, even if it is for a little while.

Haymitch, people would have thought that surviving the hunger games against all odds was impossible; people would have thought that my mentor would have been proud of me. Wrong, his face was nothing but disappointed. What I had done... I – I was nothing but inconvenience for him. He had actually liked her more than he let on, more than he had ever liked me. It seems that people just liked her more in general.

I – I... What am I doing? I need to be strong, I need to forget, forget about it all.

"Mr Mellark?" The doctor's voice had changed, she seemed to be actually sorry for me, she seemed to actually want the best for me. She placed her hands on my shoulders, steadying me; I must have been getting shaky.

"I know this must be frightening for you; I know you must be afraid. Please, come with me. All we need to do is to do some tests, if everything goes to plan, we can have you on your way as soon as possible. You can see your friend very soon, what do you say Mr Mellark, are you going to cooperate? "

"I - ... Yes. Please just. Please lead the way"

A smile grazed her lips; she placed her arm on my back leading me towards the left-side double doors. "This way Mr Mellark, it's just through here"

I wobbled as fast as I could, although I couldn't get those thoughts out of my head. What tests did I need to do? I just walked alongside her, hoping that whatever was going to happen, that I was going to be allowed to go soon.

We pushed through the double doors, allowing a whole new side of the hospital to open up, and when I mean 'whole new side' I mean the same exact overly polished floor, the walls – a shimmering fortification, but instead of rooms for people who needed to stay for more than a quick check-up, there was much bigger rooms, one in which, we were heading to.

She led me to a room closest to the double doors, opened it and directed me inside. It wasn't as I had expected. It wasn't filled with intimidating, cold machinery. It wasn't overly polished, or built with shimmering walls. It actually looked comfortable. It had shaggy carpet, two snug looking chairs which I guess are for us, and furniture which made it look like a regular old room. Then after I felt much more at ease. It struck me. My doctor was a therapist. She's a doctor for people with mental illnesses. I didn't show any reaction on my face, I kept it hidden.

"Please have a seat Mr Mellark, get comfortable, I'm just going to ask you some questions."

I collapsed in the chair; it was as comfortable as it looked, although I remembered not to get too comfortable for two reasons. One I knew that she thought I was crazy, I wasn't crazy, I wasn't, and I also knew that this 'thing' I was wearing had no bottom to it and I was wearing no underwear.

"Mr Mellark, I just wanted to ask you, I know that you recently participated in the Hunger games, we know that the games can come with certain... effects. We need to ask you if you've been able to sleep lately or if you've been having troubles."

"I have nightmares, I can see everyone that... that... I can see them at night. It doesn't just happen at night though. It happens all of the time, I can't help it. "

"Tell me more."

"It happens all of a sudden, I could be doing anything, I'll just be sitting there, and then... everything goes black, I can hear screaming, I think it's the people, but sometimes I get afraid that it's actually me who's doing the screaming, I feel so trapped. I find it hard to breathe, I feel like someone's standing on my chest. Doctor... why am I here? What happened?"

"Well I'm afraid Mr Mellark, from what we've heard from your 'friend' that you had an attack. He told us that while you two were in bed, he must have triggered it; he tells us that you started to scream, he tried to calm you down but you were flailing around. Normally in these cases you would have calmed down and everything would have returned back to ... 'normal', but it seems you had it severe, we had to keep you in for a little while."

"How long is a little while?" I burst out.

"Two days Mr Mellark. You wouldn't stop flailing, and beating anyone who got near you that we had to drug you. It was only two days until you returned back to your normal state and we were able to talk to you." She said casually. She had just been sitting there on the chair directly opposite me, legs crossed, clipboard in hand, I was just another patient to her.

"Only two days? I ruined our first day back together as normal people, I not only ruined our first day, but I wasn't around for the second day. How can you say that it was only two days? That was meant to be the beginning, the start to starting again, a new district. A new life. But I've gone from being a coward to a murderer, now I'm just a lunatic who has to be contained in a hospital." I shouted, I had stood up to tower over her. " It wasn't just two days for me Doctor. Now if you've finished your 'tests' I would rather have some of my real clothes please so I can get the hell out of he - "

"PTSD" she shouted, also rising.

"...What?"

"You've got PTSD Mr Mellark, post-traumatic stress disorder, brought on by your games, no-doubt about that. I've been trying to be friendly, now if you stop freaking out, I can make you understand that having breakdowns, black-outs and having attack like you did wasn't normal. Now if you excuse me we have your 'friend' screaming down the phone to our hospital about you." She vented, the words impaling me like a blade.

I stopped mid-way of thinking a way of getting her to let me go, but I just stopped. Post-traumatic stress disorder... I had to be drugged. My attack wasn't normal. Perhaps it was too late for me to stop myself from being broken; I couldn't stop myself from causing people pain. I ruined everything, I had destroyed everything. It was my fault, my entire fault.

"Mr Mellark?" she whispered, her eyes fixated on me." I'm sorry for my out-burst, but perhaps you should go lay-down, you've gone pale. Are you having an attack Mr Mellark?" She checked my pulse on my wrist before looking deep into my eyes. Before she could pull something out of her pocket, I grabbed her wrist.

"I'm fine Doctor. I'm completely fine." I lied, my best attempt at making my voice devoid in pain.

If you're so fine Mr Mellark then perhaps you can let go of my wrist." She gasped I immediately let go, looking at the marks I had left.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." I panicked, I don't hurt people, I won't hurt people.

She rubbed her wrist where I had been clutching at her, "Mr Mellark I think it's clear to say we shouldn't be letting you go just yet. It's not safe to you... and other people.

I just collapsed back onto the chair, gripping my hands on my head.

**My fault .My fault. My fault. My fault. **


End file.
